Erin Series: Un-block My Heart. Back

By Erin  • November 07, 2016

I made a play of words out of a 90’s Toni Braxton song… hahaha!

         I’m going to write about “blocking” because it happened to me for the first time ever in my whole online existence. Who did the blocking? Chinito Guy (aka The Reason I Moved On from Caucasian Man-Child).

         Lets not beat around the bush here. If a person blocks you, this person wants absolutely nothing to do with you.  Ganyan lang.  Plain and simple.

         I met Chinito Guy in person, and I winced.  He looked totally different from his photos!  I was in shock at how reality bit me in the ass.  The oh-so-dreamy Chinito Guy I had a 21-day thingy with turned out to be a hoax.  In real life, he was nothing like the “Shong-hwan of My Dreams” that he projected himself to be.  I thought that he sent the son of his chia-thaw (driver) to meet me.  Son of a chia-thaw with fair skin. 

         I had to wince when he said this to my face, “Bakit kaya baliw na baliw ang mga babae sa akin?” (“Why are women so damn crazy about me?”).  When he said that, I knew it was definitely him.  It sounded like the guy who would devote 3-4 hours of his life daily to talk to me on the phone. 

         He used to boast to me during our conversations that girls go gaga over him.  His ex-es and girlaloos still text him and call him from time to time, he said.  “Bakit kaya baliw na baliw ang mga babae sa akin,” he would tell me many times. 

       I found it cute, when we were just “telebabad-ing” on the phone.  When I pictured him as the exact embodiment of the selfies that he sends me, looking like Paulo Avelino.  I pictured him having a Derek Ramsay body because Chinito Guy said that he goes to the gym almost everyday. 

         I know I thought before that he was the Male Erin.  But at that moment, I knew this was not the case.

         Honestly, I do not wake up each and every day and think I’m perfect.  I do have skin that people describe as “kutis porcelana” (“porcelain skin”), and I have a head of raven black hair.  I have these without even trying.  I have a curvy body that I like to hide in shapeless t-shirts and straight-cut boyfriend jeans. 

         Sometimes I look in the mirror, and stick my tongue out for the reflection in the mirror, and say, bleh. 

         I’m confident because of my personality.  I know I have a brain and can carry a conversation, even when I’m clad in my Manila Girl normcore outfits.  But I don’t enter a room, strut the tsunami walk ala Miss Universe Philippines 2011 Shamcey Supsup and go, “Bow down to me, mere mortals.  I’m hot.”

         I will never ever say “Bakit kaya baliw na baliw ang mga lalaki sa akin,” (“Why are guys so damn crazy about me?”) like I am some piece of meat.  Noooo. Ergo, I conclude that Chinito Guy IS NOT THE MALE ERIN!

         He blocked me in his social media accounts and I’m fine with it.  I did not attempt to contact him after he friend-zoned me, so that must have hurt his ego big-time.   Take note that I did not contact him after the night that he friend-zoned me. 

         When I first find out that Chinito Guy has blocked me, I laughed out loud.  I found it ridiculous.  I was so baffled.  I will totally understand him blocking me if I bugged him or something.  Thing is, after the Friendzone episode, I sent my explanation through text that it was ok.  That was the last time I texted him.  I never heard from him again.  He also did not hear from me again.  In short, I DID NOT CONTACT HIM. “Ni ha, ni ho, wala.”

         I assured him that I will not contact him after things end between us.  I was true to my word, and maybe it irked him.

         I AM ANNOYING TO HIM.  Every time he thinks about me, he is filled with annoyance.  Him blocking me because he never wants anything to do with me again is done from a place where I have pushed him to the point of no return.

         He probably replays this in his head. My face wincing when I saw him in person.  My face wincing again when he told me, “Bakit kaya baliw na baliw ang mga babae sa akin?”

         I pushed him to a point where he could not deal with me anymore. He must have thought that the moment I realized that he has blocked my phone numbers and Facebook, I would go crazy and go to his residence and office.   If I did that, it would feel good to him because it showed that I went to great lengths to save the relationship or whatever-you-call-it.  All men love to feel wanted by women.  I am sorry but my time is very valuable and I am not one to be strung along.  I have important things to accomplish.  But even in an alternate universe where I am a professional trust fund baby bum (is there even such a thing? I just made it up), I will choose to binge-watch TV series and soap operas, and I would even watch every uploaded episode of the Australian soap opera “Neighbors”, than devote time to chase him.  No. Friggin’. Way. 

         Let’s take a step back and think back about what it was that I did that could have made Chinito want to block me.

         Nothing.  I did nothing.

         I remember him telling me that his past girlfriends, flings and girlaloos come back to him. 

         Well, I finally proved to him that I am not just any other girl.